Thursday, May 10, 2012

Reject rejectful society.


Society can be a cruel place for those with special needs. Not just for those on the Autistic spectrum, but for anyone who presents themselves as “different” to the accepted norms of the day. Whenever people come across an individual they don’t understand, there is a tendency to mock them or blatantly go out of their way to avoid the person in question. Apparently it’s ok in some people’s minds to publicly ridicule or put down a person who most likely has little control and little understanding of their “different” appearance or mannerisms.

So what must it be like for someone who’s been misunderstood since childhood? How would a young child develop over the years after being shunned and made fun of? Imagine a young boy growing up in the 1970s. His mother often finds that he’s broken all of his toys. He’s thought of only as a problem child, with most people branding him as annoying and different. As he grows he begins to aggravate people to such an extent that he's always in trouble, and for this reason a psychiatrist decides he’ll never be able to hold down a job. Yes son, you will never be able to get a job or have a half decent future, because you annoy everyone around you, sorry.

Imagine how you’d feel from a young age if no one would play with you and seemingly everyone laughed at you. You’d probably start to lose respect for the world because it’s certainly not showing you any respect. So here’s the catch 22. Society gives you a hard time because you are different, and in return you learn to hate society. To say sorry for giving you such a hard time and making you hate it so much, society then gives you more of a hard time…. Now repeat this cycle through to adulthood. By now you’ve completely lost all faith in humanity, and humanity’s lost all faith in you being a respectable part of it. So who’s to blame? Personally, I think society’s so full of itself that most of it fails to show any compassion for those who could use a helping hand anyway. How different might this young man’s life had been if he had actually been nurtured and helped in his journey instead of being swept under the carpet, bullied, and mocked?

No doubt, most of you have heard of the Port Arthur Massacre, a horribly tragic event where a young man went on a public killing spree in the Australian state of Tasmania back in 1996. I do not condone one bit the atrocities that this man carried out on that dreadful day. I’m also not here to defend his actions or to justify his intentions. The man has been locked up for the rest of his life, and that’s where he belongs. He’s an obvious danger to society. It’s just a pity that he started life as the same young boy I was writing about in the first few paragraphs of this blog you are now reading. Would he have been a good member of society had he been treated nicer in his youth? Who knows? Maybe he might not have hated the world so much as to think killing parts of it was a good idea. I now know a person who went to school with him, and apparently the boy was a bully himself. Was his bullying a result of his upbringing? Again, who knows?

There have been theories thrown around that this person might have been Autistic. From what I’ve read, he’s not shown any classic signs of being on the spectrum. He even went out of his way to travel overseas in his attempts to make society accept him. He didn’t make the trips because he wanted to see the rest of the world. He made the trips so that people would be forced to sit next to him for long periods of time and would be forced to be polite with him, maybe even talk to him. He wanted to be accepted, even after all the abuse that the world piled on him. He’d dress up to go to his local restaurant and the world would laugh at him because he dressed in an eccentric manor, which was most likely a request to the world to “please look at who I really am and please accept me for who I am”. I recently read of a published study claiming that psychopaths have sections of brain that show reduced amounts of grey matter. The sections noted were those identified as being responsible for empathy and other emotions. I also have read many studies that show similar reduced amounts of grey matter in those who are on the Autistic spectrum. Those on the Autistic spectrum however, also have sections of brain with excessive amounts of grey matter, which was not shown in the study of the psychopathic brain. The psychopathic brain would therefore be only partially Autistic, if Autistic at all. People on the Autism spectrum, in my opinion, have good qualities which, if they’re capable of bringing them to the surface, show that being on the spectrum and being psychopathic are two completely separate conditions. I don’t believe this man was Autistic. Psychopathically challenged perhaps, but not Autistic. He was known to be deliberately cruel to animals in his youth. Again, this could reflect on his view of a world that refused to accept his differences.

Unfortunately by the time he was 28 years old, the years of rejection by society was all too much for this young man, and he ended up killing 35 innocent people, including some very young children. He also wounded a further 21 who are probably emotionally traumatised to this day. He no longer has a place in society and quite rightly will never have a place in society ever again. So next time one of you decides to bully someone or laugh at someone or avoid someone in disgust because they’re not the correct shade of public society for your liking, just stop and think how many other people are treating this individual the exact same way, and how you are actually contributing to this individual’s feelings towards society by being a part of the greater collective. A collective of bullies that you don’t see, but this person is forced to encounter on a daily basis. Now stop and think, how you would feel if the rest of the world treated you like dirt because you were a little “different”. What he did was wrong, but are you contributing to the way someone else’s world becomes by not treating them as a human in the first place?

As a society we are all responsible for the way it forms. How you treat an individual today contributes to how that individual deals with life tomorrow. Play nice with each other, and include the “different” kids too. You may actually make the world a nicer place to live in, not only for today’s generation, but for the future children of today’s generation.

Treat the people of the world with respect, no matter how different they may seem. They may respect you in return.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Therapeutic Thoughts on Autism


For those who are unaware, I have 3 boys who are all at different levels on the Autistic Spectrum, ranging from mild Asperger’s to full on stimming and routine needing Autism. I also have a great many online friends who have Autism in their lives in one form or another. Some are just beginning their journey into life with ASD, not sure on how the future will shape itself, while others are at the stage where their children have grown up to be fine young adults who may still have special needs, but not quite as much as when they were young children. The good news about Autism is that it’s not a static condition. Being born with Autism isn’t necessarily the life sentence that some so called "experts" and even some parents would like you to believe. Given the right nurturing conditions, a child with Autism has the potential to grow and learn and overcome a great many of the hurdles that life might throw at them. People on the spectrum might not always be able to express themselves, but they do take everything in, and they do process the information that is presented to them.

A handful of parents that I have seen online have come under attack recently for paying large sums of money to various "therapists" to help their children become more “normal”. Therapies such as ABA, which is designed to teach children not to show their Autistic tendencies to the world, or Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy, which injects oxygen into the system at high pressure, to name but two. There are harmless therapies and dangerous therapies. I’m not here to discuss which is good and which is evil. As parents we all have the duty of care to do what we think is best for our children. If a parent thinks spending money is the right thing to do and providing they’re not actually causing harm to the child in their quest to make them “perfect” then that is their choice as parents who believe they are doing what is best for their children. Personally I see some parents who are actually doing what is best for their own personal social status, rather than what is best for their child. These are the parents who refuse to accept that their child is not the “perfect” creature they expected them to be.

My own children make leaps and bounds every day. 5 years ago I would never have thought they would be as independent as they are today. The only 'therapies' my boys have are personal timeouts while they sort out the confusion of the moment for themselves, and life skills lessons at their special needs school. My kids are lucky enough to be making progression on their own. They thrive on having extra time to be able to sort things out for themselves at their own pace. Children on the Autism Spectrum can be very intelligent, you just need to give them time to sort life out for themselves so they can learn from their own experiences. Give them guidance but don't baby them, for if you treat them as babies when they are not, they will learn to stay as babies and you will have a fully grown baby to deal with in later years. Learn the difference between bad behaviour and sensory issues and deal with it appropriately, there is a difference between having a sensory meltdown and having a temper tantrum. Observe and learn about your child as they grow so you can make the distinction and act accordingly.

Some "therapies" are designed to control the way the child displays themselves in public. Who cares if they stim? I stim occasionally at the age of 46, it doesn't hurt anyone. The world still rotates, so why hide something that helps someone to cope with their sensory issues? I wouldn’t ask someone to give up listening to Music if it helps them to relax at the end of the day, so why should I ask my sons to stop moving their hands or fingers if it helps them with a stressful situation? They know they do it. I know I do it. It still doesn’t do any damage to anyone, so get off everyone’s backs about it! If you don't like it, leave the room and find something constructive to do with yourself. Honestly, it doesn't usually bother the stimmer to be stimming. If it did, then they'd be complaining about it themselves.

So how is it that my boys and many other people on the Autism Spectrum can make so much progress in their lives if they don’t get any intense therapy? From what I and a good many other parents have witnessed, they actually just overcome their hurdles at their own pace. Numerous studies have shown that the Autistic brain has pockets with not enough grey matter and pockets with excessive grey matter. It just takes extra time for the excess brain cells they have to sort out what connections work best before the selected connections can be hardwired into a new skill. This 'natural progression' works wonders and it's free, although I must stress It doesn't work for all. Each Autistic brain is unique the same as each non-Autistic brain is unique. Natural progression does happen and it has happened for my own children and for the majority of children of the parents I converse with online. A lot of expensive "therapists" take the credit for natural progression. They happily take the money for it too. It’s a bit like those pimple commercials that try to make you think you need to buy and use a product for the rest of your life at great expense, with full endorsement by some young pop star who’s getting paid a small fortune to show you their professionally made up and enhanced "cured" faces. Use soap and water and scrub your face daily people, teen acne usually goes away by itself anyway. If someone’s offering a cure for Autism ask yourself first, “Is it possible, that given time, these improvements will happen anyway?” You’re on the Internet reading this already, so why not use the Internet to find a network of people who all have ASD in their lives and ask them for advice. Oh look, here’s a good start... It’s the Autism group I started on Facebook a few years ago: Autistic Spectral Discussion. Bookmark the link and join in with the rest of us, we don’t bite unless you’re publicly endorsing something that is known to cause harm to a child.

If you're ever considering any therapies or magic 'cures' for your child, just remember these three don't evers:
  1. Don’t ever expect it to happen overnight
  2. Don't ever expect a cure without a brain transplant
  3. Don't ever rush Autism. 
A brain capable of higher intelligence just needs extra time to learn. It's as simple as that.