For those who are unaware, I have 3 boys who are all at
different levels on the Autistic Spectrum, ranging from mild Asperger’s to full
on stimming and routine needing Autism. I also have a great many online friends
who have Autism in their lives in one form or another. Some are just beginning
their journey into life with ASD, not sure on how the future will shape itself,
while others are at the stage where their children have grown up to be fine
young adults who may still have special needs, but not quite as much as when
they were young children. The good news about Autism is that it’s not a static
condition. Being born with Autism isn’t necessarily the life sentence that some
so called "experts" and even some parents would like you to believe. Given the
right nurturing conditions, a child with Autism has the potential to grow and
learn and overcome a great many of the hurdles that life might throw at them.
People on the spectrum might not always be able to express themselves, but they
do take everything in, and they do process the information that is presented to them.
A handful of parents that I have seen online have come under
attack recently for paying large sums of money to various "therapists" to help
their children become more “normal”. Therapies such as ABA, which is designed
to teach children not to show their Autistic tendencies to the world, or
Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy, which injects oxygen into the system at high
pressure, to name but two. There are harmless therapies and dangerous
therapies. I’m not here to discuss which is good and which is evil. As parents
we all have the duty of care to do what we think is best for our children. If a
parent thinks spending money is the right thing to do and providing they’re not
actually causing harm to the child in their quest to make them “perfect” then that
is their choice as parents who believe they are doing what is best for their
children. Personally I see some parents who are actually doing what is best for
their own personal social status, rather than what is best for their child.
These are the parents who refuse to accept that their child is not the “perfect”
creature they expected them to be.
My own children make leaps and bounds every day. 5
years ago I would never have thought they would be as independent as they are
today. The only 'therapies' my boys have are personal timeouts while they sort
out the confusion of the moment for themselves, and life skills lessons at
their special needs school. My kids are lucky enough to be making progression
on their own. They thrive on having extra time to be able to sort things out for
themselves at their own pace. Children on the Autism Spectrum can be very
intelligent, you just need to give them time to sort life out for themselves so they can learn
from their own experiences. Give them guidance but don't baby them, for if you treat them as
babies when they are not, they will learn to stay as babies and you will have a fully grown baby to deal with in later years. Learn the difference between bad
behaviour and sensory issues and deal with it appropriately, there is a difference between having a sensory meltdown and having a temper tantrum. Observe and learn about your child as they grow so you can make the distinction and act accordingly.
Some "therapies" are designed to control the way the child displays themselves in public. Who cares if they
stim? I stim occasionally at the age of 46, it doesn't hurt anyone. The world
still rotates, so why hide something that helps someone to cope with their
sensory issues? I wouldn’t ask someone to give up listening to Music if it
helps them to relax at the end of the day, so why should I ask my sons to stop
moving their hands or fingers if it helps them with a stressful situation? They
know they do it. I know I do it. It still doesn’t do any damage to anyone, so
get off everyone’s backs about it! If you don't like it, leave the room and find something constructive to do with yourself. Honestly, it doesn't usually bother the stimmer to be stimming. If it did, then they'd be complaining about it themselves.
So how is it that my boys and many other people on the
Autism Spectrum can make so much progress in their lives if they don’t get any
intense therapy? From what I and a good many other parents have witnessed, they
actually just overcome their hurdles at their own pace. Numerous studies have
shown that the Autistic brain has pockets with not enough grey matter and
pockets with excessive grey matter. It just takes extra time for the excess
brain cells they have to sort out what connections work best before the
selected connections can be hardwired into a new skill. This 'natural progression'
works wonders and it's free, although I must stress It doesn't work for all.
Each Autistic brain is unique the same as each non-Autistic brain is unique. Natural
progression does happen and it has happened for my own children and for the
majority of children of the parents I converse with online. A lot of
expensive "therapists" take the credit for natural progression. They happily take
the money for it too. It’s a bit like those pimple commercials that try to make
you think you need to buy and use a product for the rest of your life at great
expense, with full endorsement by some young pop star who’s getting paid a
small fortune to show you their professionally made up and enhanced "cured" faces. Use
soap and water and scrub your face daily people, teen acne usually goes away by
itself anyway. If someone’s offering a cure for Autism ask yourself first, “Is
it possible, that given time, these improvements will happen anyway?” You’re on
the Internet reading this already, so why not use the Internet to find a network of
people who all have ASD in their lives and ask them for advice. Oh look, here’s
a good start... It’s the Autism group I started on Facebook a few years ago: Autistic Spectral Discussion. Bookmark the link and join in with the rest of us, we don’t bite
unless you’re publicly endorsing something that is known to cause harm to a
child.
If you're ever considering any therapies or magic 'cures' for your child, just remember these three don't evers:
- Don’t ever expect it to happen overnight
- Don't ever expect a cure without a brain transplant
- Don't ever rush Autism.
A brain capable of higher intelligence just needs extra time to learn. It's as simple as
that.